Monday, November 9, 2009
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About Me
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From the Mouth of BABES
1/10 Davis is hiding under the cupboard and pokes his head out and says: "I'm a big huge tooty head".
Mom: Why?
Davis: Because I tooted.
1/10 Mom: Davis, are you cute?
Davis: No, I'm not.
Mom: Why aren't you cute?
Davis: Because I'm Awesome.
5/09 When Sammie and Lindsay sing "Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam" they always say "Jesus wants me for a Sun - BEEP". It is so cute.
5/09 Sammie pinches my stomach and says "mom, you are chubby". (Remember, I am 6 months pregnant. You don't tell an emotional pregnant lady she is chubby. She is grounded.)
4/09 Lindsay: Dad is going to get the "pumper" from uncle Dan. (the bike pump)
2/09 Sammie: Mom! I have polka dots on my legs!!
Mom: You do?
Sammie: Yeah. See.
Mom: Those aren't polka dots, they are called goose bumps.
2/09 Mom: Lindsay, use your fork when you eat. Princesses don't eat with their hands.
Lindsay: I am eating like a step-sister.
1/09 Mom: Sammie, you need to sit like a lady during church.
Sammie: (Looking around) Where is the lady?
1/09 Mom: Sammie, get over here or I am going to spank your little bum.
Sammie: No sir, I have a BIG bum.
1/09 Mom: What is the girls' name in you class with red hair?
Lindsay: There isn't a girl in my class with red hair, it's orange!
12/08 Mom: Why do you want another baby?
Lindsay: Because I like babies and they think I'm cute.
10/08 Mom: Sammie, who did you play with today in nursery?
Sammie: Kallie
Mom: Did you play with any boys?
Sammie: No
Mom: Boys are stinky. Huh?
Sammie: Yeah
Dad: All boys are stinky, but daddy's not.
Sammie: No dad, you are stinky.
9/08 Mom: Sammie, you didn't finish your sandwich.
Sammie: Sorry mom, I didn't mean to.
9/08 Sammie: Mom, why are you driving so fast?...A police officer is going to put you in jail. (for the record, I was going the speed limit)
9/08 Mom: Lindsay, stop whining!
Lindsay: I'm not. I'm just singing a song.
9/08Lindsay: Daddy what did you dream about?
Dad: I don't remember.
Lindsay: But Daddy you went to college to get smart so you should remember.
9/08 Lindsay: Mom, I don't like your hair like that.
Mom: Why?
Lindsay: Because it looks ugly like a monster.
9/08 Mom: Lindsay, why didn't you remember your lunch?
Lindsay: Because I'm not a memorizer.
9/08 Sammie: Mom, what is that right there? (pointing to my face).
Mom: A zit.
Sammie: Why is it a zit?
Mom: Because.
Sammie: Did you get hurt? Did somebody fight you or something?
9/08 I just got done exercising. Sammie: Are you sweaty?
Mom: Yep
Sammie: Are you stinky?
Mom: Yep
Sammie: You better get in the shower.
8/08 On Sunday afternoon sometimes we will turn on kid music and the girls will dance for us. Last Sunday Sammie stopped in the middle of dancing and said: "I'm actually pretty good at this".
8/08 Sammie wanted to eat her gogurt in the frontroom which is not allowed.
Dad: Sammie, you can't go in the frontroom.
Sammie: Well, I have legs and I can walk in there.
8/08 Sammie was praying one night before going to bed and at the end of the prayer, she simply said "goodbye".
8/08 I was listening to Sammie sing "I am a Child of God" one night and this is how it went...
I am a child of God
And He has sent me here
Has given me and earthly home
With parents kind of dear.
I guess we need to work on that.
8/08 Sammie: Is this a hotel?....I think this is somebody's house. (We drove into Roz's sister's house late one night on our trip and Sammie was a little confused in the morning.)
8/08 Believe it or not, sometimes Sammie doesn't listen to us at all. One day when Sammie was being stubborn and not listening, Lindsay told us that "Sammie's following Satan". Talk about being blunt.
8/08 We were in Kohl's shopping one day and Sammie kept running away. We asked her what she was doing and this is how the conversation went...
Sammie: I'm trying to find shoes for Lindsay.
Mom: You don't even know what size she wears.
Sammie: Yes I do!
Mom: What size does she wear?
Sammie: I don't know...maybe exer-"size".
7/08 Since our trip to Washington, Sammie has regressed in potty training. When I asked her why she pees in her underwear, she replied "because I like to" AAAGGHH!!
7/08 Sammie: Mom, I have a snot (meaning runny nose).
7/08 Mom: Lindsay, do you want to go on a mission when you are older?
Lindsay: But I don't know where to go.
Mom: Heavenly Father will tell you where to go.
Lindsay: To Disneyland?
Mom: No
Lindsay: China?, like my dad ? (Dave didn't serve his mission there, but he did visit there)
5/08 Mom: What sport do you want to play when you get bigger? Soccer, basketball, volleyball, track....cheerleader... Lindsay: A cheerleader.
Mom: Do you know what a cheerleader does?
Lindsay: They cheer for BOYS that play games.
4/08 Samantha: I have big muscles.
MOM: How did you get big muscles?
Samantha: from church.
4/08 When we were on the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride, Lindsay saw the heap of treasure and her first comment was "pirates are lucky".
4/08 Lindsay: I ducked down because I didn't want to get killed because I was sure there were sharks in the river. (also on the Pirates of the Caribbean" ride.)
4/08 Samantha: She's a pretty songer (singer).
4/08 Lindsay: I am not tired anymore. My body is full of sleep.
4/08 Lindsay: Dad, you have big muscles.
Dad: Do you tell your friends at school that I have big muscles?
Lindsay: No
Dad: Well you can.
Mom: Samantha, say "thank you".
Samantha: I can't because I'm sick.
Mom: Samantha stop jumping on the couch.
Samantha: I'm not. I'm just dancing.
Lindsay: Mom, this is not my show.
Mom: Why isn't it your show.
Lindsay: Because there are boys on it. It is not my show.
(Apparently she can only watch girls)
Lindsay is CRYING during this conversation
Lindsay: I'm having a bad day.
Mom: Why are you having a bad day?
Lindsay: Because everything is terrible.
Mom: What's Terrible?
Lindsay: I don't like my body.
Mom: What don't you like about your body?
Lindsay: My skin.
Mom: Why don't you like your skin?
Lindsay: I want it a different color.
Mom: What color do you want it to be?
Lindsay: Purple.
Mom: Why do you want it purple?
Lindsay: Because I want to be silly.
Lindsay: Mom, when I get older and older I will have a big bum like you.
Lindsay: Mom, why can't you see your brain? Why can't your eyes go in there and see it?
Mom: When are you ever going to listen to me?
Lindsay: I don't know...um...maybe six years.
Mom: Samantha, it's time for bed.
Samantha: Mommy you're a STINKER!
Samantha: Mom, I want you to play me how.
Interpretation: Mom, I want you to teach em how to play the piano.
Lindsay: Some ants are coming into my bum. An ant just bited my bum.
Daddy: Do you want to get a new T.V.?
Lindsay: Will it have the same cartoons on it?
Mom: Why?
Davis: Because I tooted.
1/10 Mom: Davis, are you cute?
Davis: No, I'm not.
Mom: Why aren't you cute?
Davis: Because I'm Awesome.
5/09 When Sammie and Lindsay sing "Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam" they always say "Jesus wants me for a Sun - BEEP". It is so cute.
5/09 Sammie pinches my stomach and says "mom, you are chubby". (Remember, I am 6 months pregnant. You don't tell an emotional pregnant lady she is chubby. She is grounded.)
4/09 Lindsay: Dad is going to get the "pumper" from uncle Dan. (the bike pump)
2/09 Sammie: Mom! I have polka dots on my legs!!
Mom: You do?
Sammie: Yeah. See.
Mom: Those aren't polka dots, they are called goose bumps.
2/09 Mom: Lindsay, use your fork when you eat. Princesses don't eat with their hands.
Lindsay: I am eating like a step-sister.
1/09 Mom: Sammie, you need to sit like a lady during church.
Sammie: (Looking around) Where is the lady?
1/09 Mom: Sammie, get over here or I am going to spank your little bum.
Sammie: No sir, I have a BIG bum.
1/09 Mom: What is the girls' name in you class with red hair?
Lindsay: There isn't a girl in my class with red hair, it's orange!
12/08 Mom: Why do you want another baby?
Lindsay: Because I like babies and they think I'm cute.
10/08 Mom: Sammie, who did you play with today in nursery?
Sammie: Kallie
Mom: Did you play with any boys?
Sammie: No
Mom: Boys are stinky. Huh?
Sammie: Yeah
Dad: All boys are stinky, but daddy's not.
Sammie: No dad, you are stinky.
9/08 Mom: Sammie, you didn't finish your sandwich.
Sammie: Sorry mom, I didn't mean to.
9/08 Sammie: Mom, why are you driving so fast?...A police officer is going to put you in jail. (for the record, I was going the speed limit)
9/08 Mom: Lindsay, stop whining!
Lindsay: I'm not. I'm just singing a song.
9/08Lindsay: Daddy what did you dream about?
Dad: I don't remember.
Lindsay: But Daddy you went to college to get smart so you should remember.
9/08 Lindsay: Mom, I don't like your hair like that.
Mom: Why?
Lindsay: Because it looks ugly like a monster.
9/08 Mom: Lindsay, why didn't you remember your lunch?
Lindsay: Because I'm not a memorizer.
9/08 Sammie: Mom, what is that right there? (pointing to my face).
Mom: A zit.
Sammie: Why is it a zit?
Mom: Because.
Sammie: Did you get hurt? Did somebody fight you or something?
9/08 I just got done exercising. Sammie: Are you sweaty?
Mom: Yep
Sammie: Are you stinky?
Mom: Yep
Sammie: You better get in the shower.
8/08 On Sunday afternoon sometimes we will turn on kid music and the girls will dance for us. Last Sunday Sammie stopped in the middle of dancing and said: "I'm actually pretty good at this".
8/08 Sammie wanted to eat her gogurt in the frontroom which is not allowed.
Dad: Sammie, you can't go in the frontroom.
Sammie: Well, I have legs and I can walk in there.
8/08 Sammie was praying one night before going to bed and at the end of the prayer, she simply said "goodbye".
8/08 I was listening to Sammie sing "I am a Child of God" one night and this is how it went...
I am a child of God
And He has sent me here
Has given me and earthly home
With parents kind of dear.
I guess we need to work on that.
8/08 Sammie: Is this a hotel?....I think this is somebody's house. (We drove into Roz's sister's house late one night on our trip and Sammie was a little confused in the morning.)
8/08 Believe it or not, sometimes Sammie doesn't listen to us at all. One day when Sammie was being stubborn and not listening, Lindsay told us that "Sammie's following Satan". Talk about being blunt.
8/08 We were in Kohl's shopping one day and Sammie kept running away. We asked her what she was doing and this is how the conversation went...
Sammie: I'm trying to find shoes for Lindsay.
Mom: You don't even know what size she wears.
Sammie: Yes I do!
Mom: What size does she wear?
Sammie: I don't know...maybe exer-"size".
7/08 Since our trip to Washington, Sammie has regressed in potty training. When I asked her why she pees in her underwear, she replied "because I like to" AAAGGHH!!
7/08 Sammie: Mom, I have a snot (meaning runny nose).
7/08 Mom: Lindsay, do you want to go on a mission when you are older?
Lindsay: But I don't know where to go.
Mom: Heavenly Father will tell you where to go.
Lindsay: To Disneyland?
Mom: No
Lindsay: China?, like my dad ? (Dave didn't serve his mission there, but he did visit there)
5/08 Mom: What sport do you want to play when you get bigger? Soccer, basketball, volleyball, track....cheerleader... Lindsay: A cheerleader.
Mom: Do you know what a cheerleader does?
Lindsay: They cheer for BOYS that play games.
4/08 Samantha: I have big muscles.
MOM: How did you get big muscles?
Samantha: from church.
4/08 When we were on the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride, Lindsay saw the heap of treasure and her first comment was "pirates are lucky".
4/08 Lindsay: I ducked down because I didn't want to get killed because I was sure there were sharks in the river. (also on the Pirates of the Caribbean" ride.)
4/08 Samantha: She's a pretty songer (singer).
4/08 Lindsay: I am not tired anymore. My body is full of sleep.
4/08 Lindsay: Dad, you have big muscles.
Dad: Do you tell your friends at school that I have big muscles?
Lindsay: No
Dad: Well you can.
Mom: Samantha, say "thank you".
Samantha: I can't because I'm sick.
Mom: Samantha stop jumping on the couch.
Samantha: I'm not. I'm just dancing.
Lindsay: Mom, this is not my show.
Mom: Why isn't it your show.
Lindsay: Because there are boys on it. It is not my show.
(Apparently she can only watch girls)
Lindsay is CRYING during this conversation
Lindsay: I'm having a bad day.
Mom: Why are you having a bad day?
Lindsay: Because everything is terrible.
Mom: What's Terrible?
Lindsay: I don't like my body.
Mom: What don't you like about your body?
Lindsay: My skin.
Mom: Why don't you like your skin?
Lindsay: I want it a different color.
Mom: What color do you want it to be?
Lindsay: Purple.
Mom: Why do you want it purple?
Lindsay: Because I want to be silly.
Lindsay: Mom, when I get older and older I will have a big bum like you.
Lindsay: Mom, why can't you see your brain? Why can't your eyes go in there and see it?
Mom: When are you ever going to listen to me?
Lindsay: I don't know...um...maybe six years.
Mom: Samantha, it's time for bed.
Samantha: Mommy you're a STINKER!
Samantha: Mom, I want you to play me how.
Interpretation: Mom, I want you to teach em how to play the piano.
Lindsay: Some ants are coming into my bum. An ant just bited my bum.
Daddy: Do you want to get a new T.V.?
Lindsay: Will it have the same cartoons on it?
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